My heart was feeling heavy, but was somewhat lifted when this fell into my lap. Happy surprises are always possible; you just have to keep your eyes open.
I cannot sleep. I cannot rest.
My thoughts descend in circles deep.
The melody falls on my brain, until this page with ink I stain.
Each thought is like a spider web
Waiting to snare me if it can.
But I am armed with pen and ink. At least some thoughts I’ll try to link.
At first the chain is cheap and frail,
With weakened links and rusty clasps.
The more I’ll write the more I’ll see, and then my mind will soon break free.
By the end I hope to have
A cable strong yet beautiful,
To climb as I fall back asleep, and dream to heights so very steep.
originally written on Friday, August 12, 2011 at 9:32pm
Why am I still awake
At this ungodly hour?
I try to force my eyelids closed,
But it is not within my power
To fall into that nightly spell.
I’ve thoughts to think and words to tell.
I try to rest my brain
But words keep tumbling in;
Far too many surging wraiths
For me to think of turning in.
I’ll try to pick just one
To empty out my mind.
Maybe something good will come
A blessing in disguise.
originally written on 11/2/11
confusion reigns from dreams most dire.
my head has caught on fire.
paranoia running rampant.
captivity beneath the blankets.
enemies are everywhere;
i’ve not a friend to spare.
running. running. always running.
thoughts are strange and unbecoming.
no rest found inside this bed
whilst I live inside my head.
My brain has turned to mush
In the weighty static hush
Of TV’s blue electric light
Left on throughout the night.
Dreams infused with bawdy calls,
Shouted from the market stalls
Of televised metropolis.
I’m tired…tired. I’m nonplussed.
Clamor from the market square
“Look here! Here!
Working deep inside my dreams.
Sludging up from churning streams.
Coiled spring inside my chest
Winding tighter with each jest.
Screeching at me more and more.
“More and more! Always MORE!”
Dream bazaar. And dreams bizarre:
Keep that TV very far.
image used with permission from onlyhdwallpapers.com
“Sleep the day away.
Sleep the day away.
Walk with us in valleys deep.
Climb to top of mountain steep.
Strengthened soul at end of sleep…”
Melody of the sirens’ call;
Liars, one and all.
Calls to leave behind all cares,
Sung temptingly from village square.
No refuge for the weary there.
The promises are made;
As night begins to fade.
“Sleep the day away.
Sleep the day away.
Come with us to murky depths…”
But there, I dream of my own death,
And never reach the mountain top,
But lose my way in valleys dark,
And meet with dreadful creatures there.
Fear eclipses earthly cares.
Each morning brings the sirens’ call.
Yet I’ll ignore them, one and all.
Strangest dreams of friendly ghosts.
Followed me with silent tread.
Intangible they were at first,
Then I felt them flesh and blood.
No one else could see them though.
They could not see. How could they know
The secrets that they told to me?
“Do not fear. You’ve been set free
From waking horrors and walking sleep.
Live your life. You’ve been set free.”
Give me brightness by day and dark placid nights,
With dimly lit lamp shedding just enough light
To let me sleep in the deep drowsy black;
With enough of a glow to find my way back.
Give me the leaden blankets of sleep.
Drown out the howl of seething dark deep.
Keep me safe from the dire-wolf’s bite.
Let me befriend this fierce night.
Turn the lights low with a flick.
Shut my mind off with a click.
Pull the shades down with a snap.
Door left open just a crack.
Open window so breeze can rush
Across this night that’s under hush.
Quiet my soul and rest my brain;
Let the sludge run down the drain,
Of garbage I’ve picked up today,
While I’ve worked and while I’ve played.
Under covers with peaceful sleep
So I can dream in waters deep.
Longish night with longer day.
I just want to know you’re okay.
I feel the distance between you and I.
Away from me you shy.
I toss and I turn when I’ve no report;
My mind begins to frame smart retorts
For arguments that we’ve never had.
I’d like to think you’re bad.
Disappointment won’t be my friend
If I suspect the worst at the end.
It’s no wonder you’ve been so shy.
Cause I have lost my mind.
I’ll try to be more gracious with you,
Unselfish with love and hunting for truth,
Generous, thoughtful, ungrudging and true.
For only then will I know the real you.